Tealy sat in his gaming chair, exhausted from another day of failing to make iTealy SmartSnacks relevant. He sighed, peeling a banana—a simple, peaceful snack. No branding. No marketing. Just a banana.
But, of course, peace was not an option.
"DURR, IS THAT A BANANA?"
Before Tealy could react, a blue blur zoomed past him. CHOMP. The banana was gone.
DumbDird stood there, his beak full, chewing in a way that defied all logic and physics. He didn't just take a bite—he inhaled the whole thing in one monstrous gulp.
"DUHHH... TASTES LIKE... UH... BANANA!" DumbDird declared proudly.
Tealy's eye twitched. "Of course, it tastes like a banana. BECAUSE IT WAS A BANANA!"
Dird, who had appeared out of nowhere (as usual), adjusted his imaginary glasses. "Erm... actually, that's not a banana. That’s air, because DumbDird ate the banana."
Tealy took a deep breath, attempting to calm his nerves, but then—
"FLAILING EMERGENCY!"
Beric flung himself into the room, his arms flailing like he had just lost his last life in an old arcade game. As he landed, he pulled out not one, not two, but FORTY Nintendo 3DS systems from his bag, holding them like an overly dedicated collector who absolutely did not need that many.
"I BROUGHT BACKUP," Beric announced, arranging them in a perfect semi-circle around Tealy.
Tealy blinked. "What… What do the 3DS systems have to do with—?"
"SHH." Beric placed a single finger over Tealy's beak. "They're important."
Before Tealy could even process this nonsense, Bayla walked in, holding something far worse than DumbDird’s banana theft.
A green, horrifying, liquidized abomination.
"Tealy, I brought you a kale lettuce smoothie! It’s super healthy!" Bayla beamed.
The room fell silent.
Dird adjusted his glasses. "Bayla. That is not a smoothie. That is a curse in liquid form."
Tealy stood up, shaking with rage, hunger, and deep personal betrayal.
"FIRST, DumbDird steals my banana. THEN, Beric summons forty 3DS consoles like he's forming a cult. AND NOW, YOU EXPECT ME TO DRINK A KALE LETTUCE SMOOTHIE?!"
Bayla nodded. "Yes!"
Tealy let out a frustrated screech, grabbed one of Beric's 3DS systems, and flung it at DumbDird. DumbDird, being DumbDird, ate it.
"DUHH, CRUNCHY," DumbDird said.
Beric screamed in horror.
And thus, another normal day in Tealy’s very, very stupid life continued.
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