“Welcome to the party! This will change... everything,” Tealy declared dramatically, his wings flapping in excitement as he gestured to his living room, as if unveiling a masterpiece.
The room was... well, it was his living room. The only noticeable difference was a banner awkwardly hanging from the ceiling, half-sticking with tape that wasn’t quite strong enough. The banner read “Tealy’s Partye”—a spelling mistake that Tealy swore had nothing to do with his lack of attention to detail. It was meant to be "party," okay? No one needed to point it out.
Bayla had dropped off a single gift for everyone, a small package sitting alone on the floor, looking as sad as the situation. It was from Bayla’s Bites, so maybe it was a healthy snack? Or something… practical? Regardless, the gang had gathered around, staring at the package as if it held the secrets of the universe—though it clearly didn’t. The atmosphere was... off. Awkward. Quiet. Everyone seemed a little unsure why they were here, but they didn’t want to let Tealy down. So, they sat.
"Yeah, this is... great, Tealy," Blara muttered from the corner, her eyes glued to her phone, silently scrolling through whatever distraction she could find. Beric barely looked up from his screen, while Dird kept shifting his attention between his phone and the group. The rest of them mostly stared at the dusty couch cushions.
Tealy, trying desperately to salvage the vibe, proudly pointed to a corner of the room. “Check out the gaming station! This is gonna be the highlight of the night.” He sounded overly confident for what was essentially a dusty old SNES hooked up to a monitor that looked like it hadn’t been turned on since the '90s.
“Uh, Tealy?” DumbDird started, pointing at the setup. “The game’s not working. Like, at all.”
Tealy puffed out his chest. “It’s a classic, alright? I spent a lot of time setting this up.” He hit a button on the controller. The screen blinked for a second, then froze, and the game crashed. Again.
“See, told ya,” DumbDird said, munching on some Dumb Snacks. “But hey, these things are good.”
Tealy squinted at the monitor. “I’ll fix it later.”
Over by the snack table—or what Tealy thought was a snack table—the spread was… underwhelming. It was a standard, plain table, with a few plates of iTealy SmartSnacks scattered around. To be fair, no one was touching them. The SmartSnacks, as always, were untouched.
But the Dumb Snacks? Oh, they were gone. Like, gone gone. The plate had been practically cleared out in the first half hour. Apparently, Banana Nacho gummies were a hit. “Dumb Snacks are good,” Dird mumbled in between bites, still distracted by his phone.
Tealy, feeling the need to keep the party moving, clapped his wings together. “Alright, alright! Time for the first activity!” He handed out a pair of roller skates, hoping to ignite some kind of excitement. “Let’s see who can roll around the room the fastest!”
There was a long silence as no one moved. Eventually, Beric took the skates, stared at them for a moment, then placed them back on the floor. “I’m not skating inside, Tealy.”
“Why not?” Tealy pouted. “It’ll be fun! Come on, who’s in?”
No one responded. Instead, Bayla took a bite of her snack and smiled faintly. “Oh, cool,” she said quietly, her eyes still glued to her phone.
Tealy was undeterred. “Fine. No roller-skating. New activity: Who can say ‘Tealy is king’ the most times in a row?” He grinned like he had just presented the greatest idea known to snack-kind.
The room was still.
“Uh… okay?” DumbDird said. “But… you’re not really king, are you?”
“I AM the king!” Tealy proclaimed, his wings flapping once more for dramatic effect. “Let’s see who can say it the most!”
A few awkward seconds passed. Then Tealy, in an attempt to win immediately, shouted, “Tealy is king!”
“Tealy is king!” DumbDird echoed lazily, though his heart wasn’t in it.
“I'm not saying that,” Beric mumbled while still messing with his phone.
After one more attempt by Tealy, he was declared the winner. He grinned proudly, raising his wings in victory. “Yes! I WIN!”
“Cool, I guess,” Dird repeated absently, still glued to his phone.
Tealy sighed, defeated by the fact that everyone seemed more into their phones than the “party.”
Finally, Tealy announced, “Alright, time for presents!”
He grabbed the small, sad gift from Bayla and unwrapped it dramatically. Inside was… a single calculator. Everyone stared at it for a moment before Blara cleared her throat. “Well… it’s practical?”
“Yup!” Tealy said, his enthusiasm not quite matching the situation. “A calculator for everyone! You know, for when you need to do math… or something.” He chuckled awkwardly, trying to play off the weirdness.
“Uh… thanks,” Beric said slowly, glancing at the calculator like it might sprout legs and walk away.
The night wore on in a haze of awkward silence, broken only by occasional mumbles of “Dumb Snacks are good” and “Oh, cool.” Tealy continued to desperately try and entertain, but no one really seemed to be paying attention.
In the end, the party was remembered as a disaster—just like Tealy’s failed attempts at making it “change everything.” But one thing was for sure: the Dumb Snacks were a hit, even if everything else was a colossal flop.
And Tealy, sitting in the middle of his disastrous party, sighed deeply. “Next time… next time I’ll plan better. Probably.”
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